The Tracklist of Friendship
by WinglessCrows
Summary: The story of Yuuri and Phichit's friendship, but told through the songs that means the most to them
1. Riverside

**This story will fit into The Real Podium Family universe. The first song is Riverside by Agnes Obel if you want to listen to it.**

* * *

" _Yuuri. Yuuri. I have something for you," Phichit says enthusiastically and Yuuri finally lets him down so that Phichit can drag him to his skate bag, where he pulls something out, "Happy birthday!" Phichit beams as he hands Yuuri the gift wrapped in blue paper, with a little paw-shaped note hanging off of it._

" _You shouldn't have..." Yuuri says as he takes the gift._

" _Nonsense, Yuuri. But I'm not as rich as Viktor, so don't expect that to be a trip to Hawaii or something."_

 _Yuuri laughs, "I mean, Viktor gave me a song, so…"_

" _Viktor gave you a song?" Phichit exclaims, and then throws Viktor a dirty look. It makes Yuuri curious as he opens the gift._

 _The gift is a CD. But not just any CD, no, as Yuuri turns it over to look at the track list, he knows Phichit put this together. It's all the songs that have some sort of special meaning in their friendship (and that includes Phichit's favorite song from The King and The Skater)._

" _Riverside?" Viktor reads the first track out loud, as he looks over Yuuri's shoulder._

" _Oh! That's a good story!" Phichit beams…_

* * *

It had been a week since the newest member of Team Cialdini had officially joined them and moved his entire life to Detroit. That person was a young Thai skater still in the junior ranks by the name of Phichit Chulanont. Yuuri had exchanged few words with the boy, and their relationship was little more than that of acquaintances. Yuuri didn't know an awful lot about him, and had only watched a couple of his skates when Celestino had told them that he had taken a new student under his wing. The two of them, being almost four years apart in age, had never competed against each other before as Phichit had joined the junior ranks some time after Yuuri had turned senior.

Yuuri didn't feel bad about not getting to know Phichit better. He wasn't much of a people person, and Phichit clearly was, as he had quickly made friends with most of the people in the rink - even the woman who ran the reception seemed to suddenly be a close friend of his. Yuuri could hardly believe that Phichit was only sixteen. When Yuuri was sixteen, he had been even more of a recluse than he currently was and even now he had very few people in Detroit that he would consider friends. None whom he would consider close friends. In fact, the only close friends he had were Yuuko and Takeshi, and they were both back in Hasetsu. And with Yuuri being busy with both skating and college, while his friends had to care for triplets, it had been over two years since he seen them in person. Looking at how easily Phichit fit into the rink made Yuuri think that it would be nice to get along with everyone so easily. But Yuuri was content, he could make conversation with his rinkmates when he wanted to and there was no awkward tension like there sometimes was with his college classmates.

It was halfway through June when Celestino called the two of them over for a reason unclear to both of them. By this time, they had exchanged phone numbers and exactly three texts.

"There has been a mix-up," Celestino began, his students unaware of what he was referring to, "Since Phichit has an ice show next month, I called an old friend of mine to choreograph a new piece for you. I thought you could use it as your exhibition piece for the upcoming season."

Phichit nodded, clearly excited about getting a new program. He had been mildly dissatisfied with Celestino's choice of having him skate to a classical ballet piece for his short program, and while he had been slowly getting into it, a change of pace might be very welcome.

"However, I must have been unclear in my email, because the program she made is for Yuuri," Celestino explained and Yuuri glanced at Phichit to look at his reaction. He was quite disappointed to see that Phichit had no reaction at all. He was always so animated.

"I want to go over the program with the two of you, and let you decide which of you should get it. The style of it suits Yuuri much better, I will say, but with some changes, I believe that you, Phichit, should be able to make it your own."

"Ciao-Ciao," Phichit begun, and Celestino rolled his eyes at the nickname Phichit had given him within his first week of being here, and had never stopped calling him by, "Why can't we both skate it?"

"To the same program?"

"Well, you said we would change it a little if I took it, so it wouldn't be exactly the same. If Yuuri wouldn't mind, I'd love to do it," Phichit looked over to Yuuri like he was asking for permission, but Yuuri wasn't exactly sure why Phichit would want both of them to skate to the same music and program. Yuuri was a senior, and Phichit a junior. It would look worse for Phichit than for him.

"Why would you want that?" Yuuri asked bluntly, and Phichit looked, perhaps, a little startled.

"I thought it would be fun," Phichit said, slowly gaining more confidence in his stance, "And I would like to work with you on something. We hardly ever talk."

Yuuri resisted the urge to shake his head. Since they never spent time together, Yuuri had never realized that saying no to Phichit was a very hard thing to do. "Okay," he agreed, "We both do the exhibition."

Phichit then proceeded to make a sound that was definitely not human, and Yuuri could only compare it what he had always imagined a baby pterodactyl would sound like. When Yuuri didn't join him in his joy, Phichit jumped at him and gave him a hug, which Yuuri didn't know what to do with. Even if he wanted to return the hug, Phichit had his arms locked in place by his sides, and Yuuri awkwardly tried to pat the part of Phichit's arm he could reach.

When Phichit finally let go of him, Yuuri gave him a forced smile. He didn't know Phichit all that well, but he thought that he would soon, whether he wanted to or not.

* * *

They began to practice for their somewhat shared exhibition the very next day. The music they were skating to was Riverside, and to make the music feel different, Yuuri got to skate to the instrumental version of the song, while Phichit got it in its original form. Yuuri preferred the instrumental anyway. He had never been good with skating to lyrics.

There was only one planned jump in the entire piece (a clear indicator that this was made for Yuuri), and Yuuri choose a triple axel - his favorite - while Phichit choose the triple flip, which Yuuri would assume was his best jump. As Celestino worked them through the choreography, Yuuri noticed that Phichit paid a lot of attention to Yuuri and what he was doing, which was… odd. They wanted to make these exhibitions their own, so it would make more sense for Phichit to keep to himself and not be influenced by what Yuuri was doing, yet there he was, looking at Yuuri intensely as he worked through the choreography.

Yuuri didn't want to say that it was annoying, but it was at least distracting to have someone look at him like Phichit did. It took Yuuri one week of Phichit (more or less) silently looking at him, before he just asked him.

"Why are you paying so much attention to me?" Yuuri asked, trying not to sound annoyed. Despite his outgoing nature, Phichit was still just sixteen and Yuuri tried his best to keep that in mind.

Phichit rubbed the back of his head and smiled shyly (that couldn't be right) at Yuuri, "I like your skating," he explained and Yuuri had to stop himself for blurting out _why?_

"Thanks," he muttered instead, and then the awkward silence followed. But only for a short while, because Phichit was a talkative person.

"Part of the reason I came to Detroit was because I wanted to skate with you," Phichit admitted, and Yuuri was sure he looked very visible confused right at that moment, and he didn't know if that was why Phichit kept talking or if he just normally gave people his entire life story once they were on speaking terms, "I have admired you since you won silver at Junior Worlds, so when my coach suggested that I should perhaps go overseas to skate, well, I thought I would train here with you. Of course, Ciao-Ciao is a great coach, but I really admire you so… I was really excited about doing the same exhibition.

But man, you really are so much better than me," Phichit sighed, "There are so many things in this exhibition that are so _hard,_ but you seem to do it so easily! I didn't get why Ciao-Ciao didn't just give me the program even if the choreographer didn't know it was for me, but I understand now. That last part is harder than any step sequence I have ever done!"

"I could help you..." Yuuri offered without thinking, but he was just so overwhelmed by someone saying that they admired him. Who would even admire _him_ of all people, when there were skaters like Viktor Nikiforov and Christophe Giacometti and Cao Bin? It seemed ludacris to Yuuri, but Phichit was such an honest person, it seemed unlikely that he would lie to him.

"Really?" Phichit beamed at Yuuri, looking up at him with sparkles in his eyes, and Yuuri almost regretted offering. Almost, because Phichit was less taxing of a person than he had anticipated someone like him being, and maybe it wouldn't be bad if they got along.

"Yeah, I don't mind."

Phichit jump-hugged him again, and though he was reluctant, Yuuri returned the hug this time.

* * *

"You can do a quad flip?" Phichit exclaimed, his eyes shimmering again (Yuuri had learned that Phichit's eyes were usually full of life and admiration) and Yuuri looked away, not really wanting to disappoint Phichit, who apparently looked up to him.

"Not really..." Yuuri replied slowly, still feeling Phichit's eyes on him.

"Liar!" Phichit yelled (or… not really yelled, more like his voice was loud, but playful and enthusiastic, and Yuuri still didn't know how to characterize Phichit), "I just saw you do it!"

"Oh...yeah..." Yuuri said intelligible, "That."

"Are you going to do it competition?" Phichit squealed (yes, actually squealed) and moved a little so that he could look Yuuri in the eye again, "Viktor is the only one who has done it, and he doesn't even land it half of the time!" Phichit began rambling, "How amazing would it be if you could do it too!"

"But I can't," Yuuri said slowly, and Phichit looked at him almost sadly.

"But you just did it."

"Competition is different," Yuuri shook his head, "You've seen my quad sal-"

"Which is also amazing by the way."

"But I have never landed it in competition," Yuuri finished. The quad flip was a lot of fun, but he felt like that fun would be ruined if he ever attempted it in competition. There was no way he could do it. He would fall, underrotate, pop it or all three. No, the quad flip was for practice and nothing more.

"If you can do it in practice then why not in competition?"

Yuuri looked wildly at Phichit. Was he one of those insane people who didn't feel pressure? "I just can't." Yuuri said, trying to end the conversation. Phichit's smile faded slightly until he let the topic go and asked Yuuri to help him with the exhibition again.

* * *

"You don't have an instagram?" Phichit asked outraged, when he had asked what Yuuri's handle was and Yuuri had lied and said he didn't have one. It was a bit of a reflex, since the account he had was both private and more of a fan account. He had no posts, but he followed all his favorite skaters and occasionally, because no one know it was him, he would leave a comment on something. He had been cautious about commenting on Phichit's posts in fear that he would find out that it was him. No, lying was the best thing for him to do here. Besides, no one needed to know that he went under an embarrassing Viktor Nikiforov fan name.

"We'll have to change that," Phichit said, but before he could get a hold of Yuuri's phone (which had the instagram app in it), Celestino graciously walked through the door and Yuuri could honestly say that he had never been happier to see him.

That same night, Yuuri made his official instagram account (without Phichit), and cleverly called it katsudon-yuuri, since all other variations of his actual name had been taken. Just to be on the safe side, he made a new account for his twitter as well, because his fan account on there was a very active one, and Phichit _really_ didn't need to know about it. To avoid getting caught, he immediately shared the new accounts with Phichit, who became his first follower.

"Yuuri," Phichit said again a couple of days later, "Having an account isn't enough. Why haven't you posted anything?"

Yuuri looked at him questioningly, "All I'm doing is figure skating practice. That's hardly anything worth posting about."

"Oh yeah?" Phichit responded smugly, "And what would you post then?"

"I don't know, meeting the queen," Yuuri tried, and Phichit rolled his eyes.

"What queen? The queen of England?"

"Sure."

"Yuuri, you just admitted you were never going to post anything. Ever." Yuuri shrugged, and Phichit magically got a hold of his phone, "Smile!" He exclaimed and leaned in close to Yuuri, taking a selfie of the two of them, which he immediately posted to Yuuri's instagram before giving Yuuri his phone back.

The photo was slightly awkward. Phichit was smiling brightly, winking at the camera and had his arm around Yuuri's neck, his fingers forming a peace sign. Yuuri's smile was more shy, and it was clear from the picture that Phichit had dragged him into this. He also looked like a mess. His hair was sticking up everywhere, ruffled from spin practice and there were definitely drops of sweat on his face - sweat which should have been on Phichit's face as well, but somehow didn't show in the picture. The caption Phichit had chosen was a mere _finished practice with phichit-chu_ and then a bunch of random hashtags.

"There," Phichit said proudly, "Now that you've ripped off the band-aid, you can post whatever you like."

Yuuri looked at Phichit and wanted to shake his head. Yuuri's next post was two months later at his first grand prix assignment in Canada. The picture was of the rink, ice just surfaced and Yuuri about to enter it. The first comment was made by Phichit: _I'm so proud of you._

* * *

Yuuri, unsurprisingly, didn't make it to the Finals that year, but he did win Japanese nationals for the second year in a row so that was something. What was surprising was when Phichit came up to him after New Years, looking slightly conflicted and without any prompting just told Yuuri what was up.

"My roommate is dropping out of high school," he explained and Yuuri could only nod in sympathy, "I'll be so lonely."

They still weren't the best of friends, but Yuuri was slowly getting fond of Phichit, especially as they had worked on their exhibition together. Yuuri was surprised that only a few number of people had picked up that they were using the same exhibition, but he supposed that by now they looked quite different from each other. But the exhibition had made them friends, and Yuuri was in a bit of a pickle himself.

"You know," he began, "I don't know if it's allowed, but my roommate is finishing his degree overseas, so by the end of the month, I don't have a roommate either."

It took Phichit a couple of seconds to fully get what Yuuri was offering to him, but when he did, he got a little teary-eyed.

"Can I move in with you?" He asked, just to confirm that Yuuri wasn't playing around and Yuuri nodded shyly, not wanting to admit that it was just as much for Phichit as for himself as he didn't want to get to know a new person who would be moving in with him. Letting Phichit move in with him was a whole lot easier for them both, and since their schedules were quite alike, it would probably make it all much easier.

From the beginning of February, the two of them were officially roommates.

* * *

 **The story will have 12 chapters so look forward to more :)**


	2. Shall We Skate?

**If you don't know the plot to The King and The Skater, I'd suggest you read it :) it's quite fun**

* * *

Even though they now lived together, it didn't feel awfully different from when they did not share living quarters. That was probably due to the fact that Yuuri had Four Continents, the actual Olympics (which he was trying his best to forget both existed and had ever happened) and Worlds, all of which Phichit didn't attend, but then Phichit had some exams, and then Yuuri did, and all in all, they still ended up spending most time together at the rink, since their small home was used for sleeping, eating and studying. Yuuri was only glad that he didn't have to go through the whole 'getting to know a new person' thing when his roommate had moved out, and Phichit was fairly easy to be around. Certainly much easier than Yuuri had expected.

And it was certainly because of this ease that Yuuri was surprised when one evening, only two days after summer vacation had finally hit them and they had both spend their new freedom by sleeping, that Phichit grabbed Yuuri by the elbow, placed him on Phichit's bed, which had been made comfortable with a huge amount of pillows and plushies (mostly hamsters), sat down beside him and opened his laptop. There was also a huge bowl of popcorn, several cans of soda and some chocolate they probably weren't allowed to eat, yet Yuuri was still surprised when Phichit exclaimed: "Movie Night!" and did not look like he would take no for an answer.

Yuuri almost sighed (only almost because actually doing so would be rude), but figured that watching movies all night couldn't hurt them that much. None of them had morning practice the next day, so they could sleep in if they wanted to.

"What do you want to watch?" Yuuri asked, thinking that Phichit already had something in mind, but again, he was wrong.

"Why don't you choose.? I feel like you know more about me than I know about you, so lets watch your favorite movie."

Yuuri looked up in thought for a moment. His favorite movie, huh? Yuuri wasn't much of a movie person. He loved music and if he ever wanted to enjoy a story he usually went for a novel, or back in Japan he would watch anime with Mari. But a favorite movie? Yuuri couldn't really think of one.

"I don't really have one," he said honestly after some time, and Phichit gaped at him.

"You don't _have_ one? How can a person not have a favorite movie? Oh my God, I feel like Arthur, when he found out that the king had never seen snow before!" Phichit moaned, and Yuuri looked at him, confused because he didn't get the reference.

"Who is Arthur?"

Phichit looked at him for a few seconds. Yuuri thought it was the longest they had spent together without Phichit talking (which was ridiculous since they lived together): "Are you, Yuuri Katsuki, a figure skater who has competed at the actual Olympics, a _person_ who is my Friend, capital f, telling _me_ that you have never watched _The King and the Skater?_ "

"Yes?" Yuuri said wearily and Phichit took his head in his hands and fell backwards onto the bed.

"How?!" He groaned, "It should be mandatory for figure skaters to watch this movie!"

"I've listened to some of the songs," Yuuri tried, not mentioning that he only knew two songs and it was only because they were commonly used for figure skating programs.

Phichit shot up from his position on the bed and looked Yuuri in the eyes intensely: "Not. Good. Enough."

He then stood up, walked over to their shared bookcase and pulled out two movies, which were then dumped into Yuuri's lap.

"Highest quality, extended versions of both the original and the sequel, which we are watching right now."

Yuuri blinked at Phichit and examined the dvds. The extended versions were both way past three hours, meaning that they probably wouldn't be done until way into the night. And if Phichit was as enthusiastic about these movies as Yuuri suspected, then they wouldn't go to sleep until the sun rose again. Maybe they should call Celestino and say they had both gotten the flu, because practice the next day seemed unlike at this rate.

But it sounded fun: "I'm in," Yuuri smiled and Phichit put on the first movie.

The plot of the first movie was questionable and somewhat chaotic, but all the catchy songs more than made up for it and the figure skating was pretty amazing for a movie. After Phichit had asked Yuuri a million questions about his thoughts, they watched the second one, which had even more of a messed up plotline than the first one, yet Yuuri weirdly got the appeal of it. And it wasn't like the two of them rarely talked or never had long conversations, but they had never talked like this before.

They didn't realize that the sun had both set and risen during their movie marathon, and Yuuri couldn't even remember when he had last spoken to someone like this. By the end of the second film, they were both equally enthusiastic about the franchise and had deep and heated discussions about the main character and his development throughout the movies.

They even ended up having a long discussion over which song was the best. Yuuri argued for _Shall We Skate,_ as it was the song that wrapped the story up in the first film, and gave a feeling of immense satisfaction. And, of course, it was a great song just by itself.

Phichit argued for _Terra Incognita_ which was one of the climactic songs in the second one, and Yuuri knew he must have thought about it alot when he started analysing every word, note and pause in the song and what they all meant.

It was around noon that Yuuri got a text for Celestino, asking whether he wanted to do jump practice or skating skills today. Usually it was a combination of both, but post-exam Yuuri wasn't always in the mood for jumping, so Celestino usually gave him a choice.

"We have practice in an hour," Yuuri said as he read the message. He wasn't as tired as he probably should have been, but was sure that he would collapse if he went to practice. Phichit looked a little tired himself, but, like usual, his eyes shone brightly as he came up with some idea.

"You remember in the first film," Phichit began excitedly, "Where Arthur has that ice show in the morning that he has to perform for the king's children, but then the night before he has to protect the city from bandits and despite being super tired, he still puts on the show and they all clap because they loved it."

"Yes, I see, so we just have to channel our inner Arthur!" Yuuri exclaimed as he understood. It was likely that he was too tired to fully understand that that was ridiculous, but at the time it made a lot of sense to both of them.

And so, they went to practice, completed half of it without issue, until Yuuri tripped over his own skates once, and then twice, and when it happened the third time within five minutes, Celestino pulled him aside.

"What's going on?" He asked, concerned, and Yuuri's tired mind registered that Celestino was worried for him.

"Um," he said, at this point he couldn't really say that he was tired because him and Phichit had watched movies all night, "My boots are a little soft," he said instead. It wasn't entirely untrue. His boots were getting worn and he would have to replace them soon, but they weren't yet at the state where they were completely useless.

"You shouldn't skate with worn boots," Celestino scolded, "You know that."

"Yes, coach," Yuuri said quickly, "But I thought that since it was just skating skills today, I could keep them for a little while."

Celestino raised an eyebrow. Keeping worn equipment was very unlike Yuuri. He was more known to replace equipment quickly so that he never had to be in a situation where they broke down completely. Yuuri was slightly scared that Celestino would keep asking questions, when Phichit screamed at the other end of the rink after having fallen and then glided straight into another skater.

They both looked over to where Phichit was laying on the ice and rubbing his shoulder that had collided with the other skater. When it was clear that no one was hurt, Celestino merely shook his head in disappointment: "What is happening today?" Yuuri heard him whisper as he circled the rink to get to the others.

When Phichit then travelled so much on a spin that he collided with the barrier, Celestino left to get a coffee.

"Not entirely like Arthur then," Yuuri mused as Celestino left the rink in frustration.

"Practice makes perfect," Phichit said determined, "We still have an hour left of practice and if I can land a triple axel today, I can do it any day!"

"Please lend me some of that energy," Yuuri yawned, but Phichit merely took his arm and dragged him to the center of the rink.

"You can do a triple axel from a standstill, right?"

"Not when I'm this tired," Yuuri said and shook his head, but Phichit kept on pushing.

"Come on Yuuri. If you do this, then what is stopping you from always landing your triple axel?"

Yuuri wondered about that for a bit. It made sense. Yuuri rarely messed up the triple axel anyway, but if he could do it while his mind was clouded and his body felt like lead, then what was stopping him from doing it in competition. And if it didn't work, he could easily blame it on pulling an all-nighter.

"Okay, I'll try," Yuuri smiled, and Phichit took his phone out.

"You're going to record it?"

"Yes, and if you land it, you can put it on your instagram and say you conquered sleep."

Yuuri shook his head. Of course it would all come back to social media in the end. Regardless, Yuuri did the triple axel. It was probably slightly underrotated, but he did it. He landed it, and he didn't fall or land forwards. Yuuri felt validated and Phichit cheered.

Phichit attempted the same as Yuuri but could only manage to do the double. When he got frustrated he then speed up and did a proper triple axel, just as Celestino came back.

"I thought you two said you didn't want to jump today."

"We were just having a bit of fun," Phichit said quickly, but Celestino was having none of it today.

"Is that so," he said slowly, "Well then, Phichit, I would like for you to work on that lutz of yours. If you want to compete with the seniors, you need a triple lutz in the short program." Phichit face slowly grew wary as he realized that Celestino was about to send them through hell.

"And Yuuri," he continued, and Yuuri gulped, "Your triple loop is a disaster. Unless you want to go back to double axels, you need it in the free skate."

"I don't even think I can do a double axel anymore..." Yuuri said quietly so that Celestino couldn't hear him, but that didn't exactly stop Celestino from making them do what felt like a million repetitions of their least favorite jumps. Yuuri was only glad that Celestino didn't make them go through quads.

"How did Arthur do it?" Phichit groaned in the changing rooms after their practice. Yuuri was lying on a bench, his energy all spent up and wondering if he could just take a quick power nap right there.

"He had a magical card game," Yuuri rationalized, "One of them probably had energy revival as a power. That's a thing right?"

"Perhaps," Phichit said, deep in thought, "It would make a lot of sense and explain some of the things in the second movie. I mean, I am pretty sure he didn't get any sleep for at least three days, right?"

"I suppose," Yuuri yawned.

"Why didn't we just do that though?"

"Use magical cards?" Yuuri asked, "Because we don't have any. Unless you are keeping secrets from me."

"I don't, but we have something just as good! Coffee! Energy drinks! That nice and lovely caffeine," Phichit sang, "Should I get you a coffee? You seem like you could need one."

"No thanks," Yuuri said and made a face of disgust, "My anxiety would go crazy."

Phichit merely made a little noise of surprise and Yuuri took a nap.

* * *

 **come say hi on tumblr (winglesscrows)**


	3. คณและฉน

**Happy New Year!**

 **This chapter is quite short, but I didn't want to drag it out. And sometimes short is nice :)**

 **Chapter based upon a Thai song called Friendship**

* * *

Phichit didn't hide well that he was researching and learning about anxiety. Perhaps he wasn't trying to hide what he was doing, but Yuuri didn't comment on it. Yuuri counted himself lucky that he had yet to have a complete meltdown in front of Phichit, but that was probably also why Phichit thought that he was a more composed human being than he actually was.

The first week of Phichit's research turned their daily life in the apartment slightly awkward, almost like Phichit was tip-toeing around him. However Phichit was a natural warrior against awkwardness, and the daily life and routine quickly reversed into its easy state, as they began talking like usual or, more accurately, began talking as much as they had before.

"Is it hard to skate with anxiety?" Phichit asked one night as they were putting away the dishes.

"I've never skated without it," Yuuri shrugged. He had been through this conversation with his previous roommate and knowing what kind of person Phichit was, he had been anticipating the questions.

"But it must be different in practice and competition," Phichit pointed out.

"Of course it is," Yuuri said and handed Phichit a plate to dry, "But that's the same for everyone. Anxiety or not, everyone gets nervous."

"I don't really," Phichit muttered, because of course he didn't get nervous, "Viktor doesn't either."

"Well, Viktor is superhuman so that doesn't really count. And you will turn senior this season, so perhaps you will change your mind."

"Maybe," Phichit shrugged, and put the plate back in its place, "I just can't imagine that it will be the same as having anxiety. I mean, I get nervous during exams, but I don't shake or throw up or-"

"That's panic attacks," Yuuri interrupted, "Anxiety is different."

"So you don't get panic attacks?"

"Oh, I do, but not all the time, just… more often than normal people."

A silence fell between them. The sounds of the water running and the clanking of some glasses Phichit was putting back suddenly got louder as Phichit thought about what Yuuri had told him. They didn't speak more about it that evening.

* * *

It was perhaps two weeks later, Yuuri wasn't quite sure, that he was sitting hunched over his desk, trying to get ahead of some studies by reading one of the books he knew would be taught next term. He was two chapters in when he started feeling reckless, but since practice wasn't in another two hours, he wanted to at least finish this chapter before calling it a day. Two pages later had Yuuri tapping relentlessly with the pencil he was supposed to be taking notes with, and a page after that he was no longer reading the words.

Yuuri put his head in his hands and close his eyes, trying to focus on his breathing. The anxiety bubbling just beneath his skin could easily be controlled if he just focused on his breathing, so he did just that and didn't notice as Phichit entered their apartment.

He did, however, notice as a pair of soft headphones were placed on him and some strange song which he could understand the word in, began playing. Music was always helpful, but the strange focus Yuuri put on it, perhaps in an effort to understand it, helped him calm down.

As Yuuri took off the headphones, he turned around to give them back to Phichit, who looked halfway between happy to have been of helpful and uncertain about how to proceed with this situation.

"What was with the music?" Yuuri asked curiously, ignoring his little anxiety episode relatively easily.

"Well," Phichit began his ramble, "I read that music was an effective way to calm anxiety, but I also read that it should be without lyrics so that you wouldn't associate the words with anxiety, but I figured that since it was in Thai, it wouldn't matter that much. Unless you secretly know Thai."

"I don't," Yuuri said in a monotone voice, but it made Phichit let out a little nervous giggle, "But thank you. It actually helped a lot."

Phichit beamed proudly, and Yuuri smiled softly at him. Phichit was a great friend, and Yuuri was so lucky to have him.


	4. Notte Stellata

**Ayyy! My exams are over and I can write again!**

 **Important to note: When I mention 'Sochi' in this chapter, and probably just generally in this story, I am referring to the Sochi Olympics and not the Sochi Finals, which hasn't taken place yet.**

 **Btw, just as a reminder, this chapter takes place in the summer of 2014, so right after the Olympics :)**

* * *

It was not uncommon for skaters to not follow the sport closely or to not watch every single performance of every competition. Some skaters only kept up with their rivals, rinkmates or countrymen, and others focused solely on themselves. Yuuri didn't understand that at all. Yuuri had fallen in love with skating after being touched by the beauty, grace and elegance of it. The emotional interpretations of piano music easily moved him to tears, and the exciting performance of music from pop culture could make his heart race as if he was the one skating, and those were not feelings he could obtain by watching himself stumbling through yet another combination. But he could watch and enjoy others.

The summer between seasons was always a living hell for skating fans who could only look forward to the season's beginning in early autumn. And as a proud skating fan himself, Yuuri spent much of his free time watching some of his favorite performances. Stephane Lambiel's winning free skate at his last world championship that had won him the gold. Chris' magnificent short program at the Sochi Olympics, which had marked him as the second man to reach the one hundred point barrier, and, of course, Viktor.

It was hard for Yuuri to pick a favorite of Viktor's programs, because what would he even choose? Viktor got better as the years passed, but some performances were so deeply etched into Yuuri's heart that they could be seen as nothing but sheer masterpieces. Viktor's junior world winning free skate, which had set a high score forever remembered in skating history, and had been the first program Yuuri had ever seen from his idol. His Olympic programs, from both Vancouver and Sochi, which had marked him as one of the rare individuals to repeat as the Olympic champion. His exhibitions which were like an artistic expression of himself, so special and unique, he ascended all skaters who came before him and those who would come after. And, of course…

"Is that Viktor's swan program from Euros?" Phichit asked as he stepped through the door, coming home from practice, "Haven't you seen that a million times?"

"Probably," Yuuri answered, never once taking his eyes off of the screen, enchanted by Viktor's skating.

"I always knew you were a skating fan," Phichit said, and sat down to watch the rest of the program with him, "But I'm starting to think that you're just a fan of Viktor."

"Just because he's my favorite doesn't mean I can't like others," Yuuri said as the program ended.

"And yet, it's always Viktor's programs you seem to watch," Phichit pointed out. Yuuri only now picking up on the teasing tone in his voice.

"Well, he is my favorite," Yuuri said again, not becoming another one of Phichit's victims, and his best friend seemingly gave up on the whole thing, "How was practice?" Yuuri asked as the video ended after screen-Viktor had gotten his scores.

"It was fine, except Ciao-Ciao remains unconvinced that my short program is any good. I mean, the man chose the music, and I'm trying my best here," Phichit ranted on. Yuuri had had first row seats to the dramatic event that was Phichit and his short program this season. Obviously, Celestino only had the best of intentions, since his most talented junior was now moving up to the senior ranks. A magnificent senior debut could do wonders for Phichit, if it was done right, and Celestino was trying his very best to do it right, but sometimes he and Phichit weren't quite on the same page.

"I'm sure it will be great when the season starts," Yuuri assured him, because Phichit had the ability to make absolutely everything work and really, this was hardly the worst thing he had had to overcome.

"Are you going to stay up tonight?" Phichit asked him suddenly, and Yuuri thought about it for a second, only to realize that, no, he had no clue what Phichit was talking about.

"Why?"

"'Why?', you ask," Phichit shook his head in disappointment, "For the assignments of course! They'll be out around midnight! Maybe you'll share assignments with Viktor!"

"I never do though," Yuuri said plainly, because that was the harsh reality, "My only hope of seeing him during the grand prix would be at the Finals, but I'd have to make it there first."

"You'll get two assignments though, and you're so good-" "Don't exaggerate." "-You could totally make it to the Finals."

"I'm lucky that I'm even getting two assignments considering how my season went," Yuuri sighed, forcing Sochi out of his mind, but then looked up at Phichit who was both pouting and looking at him like he was about to scold him.

"Don't call your own skill luck!" Phichit exclaimed, "You finished sixth at worlds, guaranteeing yourself two assignments. And! Before you say some self-deprecating shit! You were over ten points ahead of seventh place and less than a point from fifth. Hell, six more points and you would have gotten a medal, so you take that negative attitude and shove it right up Viktor's ass," Phichit finished dramatically, but Yuuri could only shake his head, remaining majorly unconvinced by Phichit's speech.

"America is rubbing off on you."

* * *

In the end, Yuuri didn't have a say in the matter, because Phichit wanted to stay up for the assignments, and in the process he convinced Yuuri to watch anime with him ("How did you go through life without watching Fullmetal Alchemist?", Phichit had questioned him last week, and since then movie night had turned into Brotherhood night).

The assignments did indeed come out at midnight, and Phichit dramatically revealed them to Yuuri who was only mildly interested. He had a good idea of where he would be competing anyway.

"First up is..." "Skate America." "Skate America! Thank you, my lovely audience," Phichit said dramatically, his phone in one hand and a comb in the other, pretending that the latter was a microphone as he paced back and forth in front of Yuuri who was sat on the bed, "In this competition we will see the amazingly talented Katsuki Yuuri!" Yuuri clapped, and cheered a little just to entertain Phichit, and his roommate kept going, "and! The equally enticing Phichit Chulanont will make his senior grand prix debut alongside his rinkmate and best friend." Yuuri cheered a little harder for that. He was happy to have been assigned the same competition as Phichit.

"Moving on to Skate Canada, where Olympic Champion Viktor Nikiforov will make his season debut, probably, assuming that he won't do a challenger series or anything else like he usually doesn't," Phichit spoke in one breath, rushing the last part as he was running out of breath, which made Yuuri smile gleely.

Phichit, unsurprisingly, continued his little show until he had gone through all of the assignments, proving Yuuri right that he didn't share a single event with Viktor. Of course, that dream had been dead since Phichit had said that Viktor was going to Canada. Top skaters usually got assigned to their home country (even if Yuuri absolutely hated it), which meant that Viktor's second assignment was in Russia, while Yuuri's was in Japan. Phichit only had one assignment, and would have to rely on withdrawals from other skaters if he wanted another one.

"You could totally make it to Finals, Yuuri!" Phichit beamed, as they sat down to properly examine the assignments.

It was… not impossible, Yuuri would give Phichit that, but neither of his assignments looked like they'd be a walk in the park. Right off the bat, he was facing Cao Bin, the two-time and defending Four Continents Champion, and currently the best Asian skater as far as results went. There was also the junior world silver medalist, Leo de la Iglesia, whom Yuuri had had the pleasure of training with quite a few times, but was a real threat to the podium as well. And to top it off, Russia's Georgi Popovich, who had finished in the top six at the Olympics. It was a tough field, but Yuuri didn't need a win to get to the Finals. Just a medal or two, depending on the color of the first one.

Yuuri's second assignment was the very last competition of the series, not counting the Finals, which meant that pressure was imminent. If he wanted to qualify, he had to do well in America, because when had he last taken an international medal in Japan? Yuuri would have to go all the way back to his senior debut for that. NHK Trophy saw a deadly combination of world junior champion Jean-Jacques Leroy (JJ people called him?), European bronze medalist Michele Crispino, and a handful of talented Japanese skaters, two of whom had joined Yuuri on the podium at last season's national championship. So, yeah, not impossible, but certainly not easy.

"Well," Yuuri said slowly still looking at the assignments, "Let's see what happens."

* * *

The grand prix series was soon forgotten as Yuuri jumped on the first plane to Japan for a two week trip, where he would do some work with the media and, more importantly, take part in one of Japan's infamous ice shows. He had had to turn down Fantasy on Ice due to exams, but as a figure skater who didn't win every competition he attended, he couldn't quite live without shows. And Yuuri liked them too. It was a chance to skate with little to no pressure on him, while getting to do some run throughs of his programs.

 _Your fans are so quick!_ Phichit wrote two days after Yuuri had arrived in Japan. He was getting ready to sleep, but couldn't quite interpret Phichit's message.

 _What do you mean?_ He asked in a straightforward manner, sitting in the hotel bed with the duvet covering his legs, and a pillow propped up to support his back. It wasn't all that comfortable.

 _What do I mean? Yuuri, yuuri, yuuri._ Phichit wrote each 'Yuuri' as a new message, because he was completely incapable of having a text be longer than five words. _Translating!_ He then explained. _Your interview only aired just four hours ago and there already plenty of English, Chinese and Russian translations! No one translates my interviews that quickly :/_

 _Maybe you're just not noticing?_ Yuuri said to move the conversation from himself to Phichit. He didn't really like the idea of having a dedicated fanbase. In fact, he found it hard to imagine. He knew there were some fans. No skater had no fans, but when you compared to the horde of fans following Viktor Nikiforov, well, it all fell slightly flat.

 _Yuuri, yuuri, yuuri,_ Phichit wrote again, _social media is my entire existence. I would notice._

 _You'd think that a skater of your level would cite skating as your entire existence,_ Yuuri teased slightly, and just as he had said that, Phichit deleted his previous message before sending a new one.

 _You have no proof._

Yuuri laughed lightly at that and decided to go to bed.

* * *

The ice show became the first showing of Yuuri's new short program set to Moonlight Sonata and, according to Phichit, it was well received. During the last three shows, Phichit was invited to join them, along with a couple of other skaters, one of which, was Viktor Nikiforov.

"You could just talk to him, you know," Phichit whispered as they were all changing into their costumes for the opening performance during their very last show. Phichit hadn't understood why Yuuri didn't just talk to Viktor, but he didn't force his hand.

"And say what? 'I really like your skating?' That makes me seem like a crazy fan," Yuuri rambled. He had already promised himself that he would show Viktor who he was when he was good enough to stand on the same ice as him. Perhaps, this year's Finals…

"I think liking his skating just makes you a regular person," Phichit reasoned, but Yuuri had no time to argue back, before one of the organizers of the event informed them that the show would be starting soon.

In the line up of skaters performing, Yuuri and Viktor were the last two, with Viktor being the finishing performance. It was something about popularity, which meant that the national champion - that was Yuuri - was placed towards the end, but since Viktor was… well, Viktor, he got to close the show. Not that Yuuri minded, it took away some of the attention from him, as he had been the finishing act up until now.

Yuuri skated his program better than he had all week. Landed his quad toe, and his triple lutz-triple toe combination perfectly, and topped it off with a triple axel. It was the first time since he had gotten the program that he had skated it cleanly, and at an ice show no less! It was quite the confidence boost for Yuuri and, though he might have imagined it, the applause felt louder this time than during the previous shows.

As Yuuri existed the rink, he passed Viktor who was to take the ice after him, and though he was trying his hardest not to look (which was hard because Viktor was wearing a new beautiful costume which Yuuri hadn't seen before), Viktor grabbed his attention by tucking slightly at his wrist.

"Your program was really good," Viktor smiled at him before he was gone again, and left Yuuri, wide-eyed, to wonder if that had just happened. Some organizers pushed him towards the exit, but Yuuri peeked through the curtains separating the rink and the waiting room to look at Viktor's performance as Phichit helped him change into his last outfit.

"Is this Viktor's new exhibition?" Phichit asked in awe as Viktor performed a completely new program right in front of their eyes, "He really is amazing… Wait, Yuuri! Are you crying?"

"No," Yuuri said and wiped away a stray tear, not looking away from Viktor once even as he struggled with the costume.

Viktor's new exhibition was a rendition of his famous swan program from seven years ago. His costume was pure white, the gemstones covering it seemingly forming wings and feathers as they reflected the lights shining on them, the tight form complementing his figure perfectly. Though the program had lost none of its charm, it was more mature and distinctly different, as if showcasing how much Viktor had grown over the years. It was stunning.

"Do you always cry when you watch Viktor skate live?" Phichit asked teasingly, and Yuuri pouted.

"No," he lied as Viktor finished his program, and Yuuri tucked the costume into place.

"Is that so..." Phichit said, completely unconvinced as they got ready for the closing performance.

* * *

Needless to say, not long after the two of them had gotten home from Japan, Phichit gifted Yuuri a poster of Viktor in his new exhibition costume. It was signed and framed, and Yuuri may or may not have shed another tear when Phichit had given it to him.

* * *

 **1) Notte Stellata is a version of The Swan by Il Volo, quite famously performed by Yuzuru hanyu in the 16-17 season and in the Olympic season. I just thought it was perfect for Viktor :)**

 **2) Moonlight Sonata is performed by a lot of skaters, but one of my faves is Kaori Sakamoto's version of it (Kaori who is now national champ!)**

 **3) It's quite a win for Yuuri to skate cleanly at an Ice Show, because their rinks are smaller and skating in spotlight is much harder :)**

 **4) I'm assuming that Yuuri and Phichit use line to communicate, and line allows you to delete messages**


End file.
